Humanity

not my image
not my image

I am contemplating what it is to be the change. To be the miracle.

I am tired of feeling like – and being – a hypocrite. A traitor to myself and to what I believe. A traitor to my King. A traitor to the world, the broken world in need of change. In need of a miracle. The hours I waste. The stuff life is made of, like water through my fingers.

It is like the truth is there, in the center; quiet and constant and everlasting. The truth will not defend itself because it speaks for itself. The truth will not shout to drown out the cacophony of noisy lies because regardless of how loud the noise becomes, the truth will not flinch or shrink or decay or fall into ruin. We are the ones who choose to fill our minds with noise. To fill our souls with a false peace. To fill our hearts with empty love promises that go unfulfilled and cold embraces of statues that cannot come to life. With words that once meant something and now crumble like ancient scrolls no one ever reads anymore.

We drown out the screams. We have done so in the past and we do so now. The screams of people outside, and the screams of our own decaying selves. What have we become? What have we come to? Why do we not care about the fast fading light? Why do we not see the midnight hour? Why do we not protest the slow, torturous death we are witnessing? Are we asleep? Have we given up?

The fast fading light. A glowing ember in the dark. Who has breath to blow it back into existence, that fire we can create? Immensely gifted, wasting hours, hours, with a dying ember in the dark and breath to ignite the fiercesome flames. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

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Time

Photo from Nilima Home
Photo from Nilima Home

I feel like I write about this at least once a semester, but it’s important, so here it is. Everyone procrastinates. Some of us are more afflicted than others (ahem: my hand is raised), but we all do it. We laugh and joke about it, and there are hundreds if not thousands if not hundreds of thousands of articles, memes, and puns about it. Maybe this is out of sheer desperation to pretend like it’s okay, or maybe laughing about it is yet another way to procrastinate. I think that it’s a way to justify it so that we don’t feel a real need to change our habits. For crying out loud, there is a whole website called I Waste So Much Time, which I am sorry to say I visit too often. Here are some examples of procrastination memes:

from iwastesomuchtime.com
from iwastesomuchtime.com
from iwastesomuchtime.com
from iwastesomuchtime.com

It’s all good and well to joke about it, but the fact is, procrastination is horribly, horribly wrong. It most definitely goes against the Bible, so much so that there isn’t nearly enough room to put all the verses here:

“The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.” Proverbs 13:4

“The sluggard does not plow in the autumn: he will seek at harvest and have nothing.” Proverbs 20:4

“Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16

Procrastination is, in my life, the source of most of my stress, the reason why I don’t get the marks I am capable of getting, the reason why I haven’t finished books I am working on, and the reason for many other things. I can say I won’t go on Facebook, or that I won’t watch TV, or that I’ll only use the internet for university related things. Ironically, I have the discipline to do this, but not to stop procrastinating. If I am deprived of internet and TV, I will still find a way to procrastinate, because that’s the main issue. If we don’t deal with the root of the problem we are going to keep on struggling and wasting time when we could be achieving amazing things. It’s not as if it’s all that hard, really. All that has to be done is to start doing things right away. And the best part is, when you relax and rest then, you don’t have the stress of unfinished work hanging over your head. So really, it’s a win-win. Why on earth would we continue the self-destructive habit, then?

So. Let’s pick up our swords, and try again, shall we?